Short Saturday Update and RIP to Two Sites

A-Deadly-Adoption-Trailer-Kristen-Wiig-and-Will-FerrellQuick update: Little Boy’s birthday dinner was a huge success last night.  But really, what celebration isn’t when cake and wine are involved?  You can find us all hydrating today. Except for Little Boy. You can find him sidled up to a blackjack table in about an hour. As Johnny Drama would say, good luck baby bro!! Next question.

Also, I need to request a moment of silence for two blogs that I wrote on that had to go to blog heaven this week. “A Court of Two Sisters” and “Lifetime in Reel Life.”

Back in the day when DWC was created, this blogging phenomenon was taking off and you could say that I maybe got a little ambitious and excited. You could also say that no one else did because I believe the blog hits were just me and my co-writers checking on the page. So, due to that fact and also the fact that the last post on either of them was around November of 2010, I decided to stop paying for the domains and send them off on their way.

For those of you who didn’t read them (I’m looking at all of you), “A Court of Two Sisters” was supposed to be a cute spin on the NOLA restaurant and about the time Poops and I lived together. And one apartment complex away from her now husband, DJ Jeff. We had high hopes of co-contributing to this blog and documenting our “Three’s Company”-esque experience. There were some great times had at the townhouse, but none of them documented. Probably because we were too busy trying to squeeze two Chevy Tahoes into a not so generous two-car garage (mine suffered a bit), spent most of our time climbing up 3 flights of steep stairs (our butts did NOT benefit the way we thought), or were busy dissecting the Bachelor or Bachelorette whilst gaining the perspective of a male on how stupid we knew the show concept already was. So, our apologies to you on missing out on that thrilling experience.

Now, “Lifetime in Reel Life” kinda did have a shot at the beginning. There were several contributors, and I think we all know how much material there is to go around.  The premise of that blog was to watch the Lifetime movies (or current reality tv shows) and analyze them in a comedic fashion. We sort of had a good thing going, and then everyone got busy and one of us up and decided to create this amazing baking company that you should be using called Annie’s Petite Treats and the blog went by the wayside. And I’m a little sad in this exact moment that I didn’t make one last post about the new Will Ferrell and Kristin Wiig Lifetime movie “A Deadly Adoption” because…it was a real Lifetime movie?? Who knew.  Personally, I think Lifetime would have been genius to make that a big ol’ spoof and create their own “Scary Movie” version of an LMN movie with Ferrell and Wiig, but I’m not in charge. (If I had a penny for every time I said that, y’all…)  Anyway, I’m planning on DVR’ing that sister and seeing what all of the awkward fuss is about.  But alas, you will not read anything about it on “Lifetime in Reel Life” because it no longer exists.

Let’s be real here. I think you want my focus to stay on DWC and not on reviewing Lifetime movies. Unless I’m doing them here, which will most likely happen. Also, I don’t live with Poops anymore, so it’s not like we have a lot to contribute in the way of “Three’s Company” but there will be stories aplenty because we’ve only moved about 5 minutes away from each other.

Y’all have a great Saturday and I hope you can all sleep tonight after getting such breaking news from me. If not, have a melatonin and call me in the morning.  🙂

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Today is the Day…

For stupid questions.  I think it’s all I’ve gotten all day today.  Not to be a debbie downer, but I think with just a touch more searching, everything being asked could be quite easily found.  I guess we can just blame it on sheer Monday laziness…

On another note, I am sort of but not really looking forward to the last debate tonight.  Looking forward to it being the last one.  Not really wanting to watch it since I have Bruno Mars hosting SNL on my DVR.  But I feel like I need to be a responsible voter and watch. I also feel like it’s a bit of a train wreck that you just can’t take your eyes off of.  Not that the debate is a train wreck, but like watching something happening that you just can’t stop watching.  Does that make any sense?

Clearly no.  So I’ll leave you with this.  I’m so back into Gossip Girl and I don’t know why.  I can’t quit you, GG!

TGIF!!!!

ImageRemember these guys?!?! “Perfect Strangers”? Balki?? Estranged cousins living together? Hilarity ensues.

And remember the days as a kid that your big Friday night consisted of ordering pizza with your friends and watching TGIF on ABC? Here was the lineup, in case you’ve forgotten:  “Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper”, “Perfect Strangers”, “Full House”, “Family Matters”, “Step By Step”, “Boy Meets World”.  Duh.  There are so many gems in there. The 90’s were good to their TV people! And I guarantee all of you crushed hard on at least one person in the TGIF family.

On another note, I think how I feel on Fridays is best described in that old Southwest Airlines commercial where all of the adults are spinning in their chairs at work, throwing papers in the air and peeling out in the parking lot like it’s the last day of school.  IT’S FRIDAY PEOPLE!!!!!  (Subsequently, I cannot find that video ANYWHERE on the inter webs….)

Also…sad day for Prague.  The government has banned the sales and export of liquor due to a bad batch of bootleg alcohol that caused several to die or become blind. I’d say that was not just a bad but a pretty bad batch. Sad for them also considering they’re one of the heaviest drinking nations in the world. (Did you know?) At least they still have beer. Does anyone else see the opportunity for their own modern-day version of “Boardwalk Empire”?  Hey, when life gives you lemons…make a tv show.  The Kardashians did.

Bet they wouldn’t have made friends on the TGIF lineup.

 

 

 

Nuh-uh.

Can we all just agree that this is not good? The haircut, the look, the path she’s on. And she’s engaged? I guess I expected her to be a child bride…her dad IS Billy Ray Cyrus and we all know how much he hates an achy breaky heart. Must run in the family so she’s hooking them early. I’m a little surprised she snagged an Aussie…and a Hunger Games Aussie at that.  I would have thought maybe more like a Levi Johnston, D-lister.

On another note, Britney Spears may have cold feet.  Which I find hard to believe after all of those years of traipsing through gas stations barefoot with Cheetos. Is there a coincidence that I mention her with this picture staring me in the face? No coincidence, I’m just saying that if Miley keeps skipping down this road she may have no hair, 2 kids, and Billy Ray balancing her checkbook. Just a heads up ladies…it can take an ugly turn fast.

And finally on a completely different note, Homeland starts again on September 30th and I CANNOT WAIT.  If you haven’t watched it, you still have time to Netflix or do whatever and catch up. Trust me, you will not be disappointed.  At last not nearly as much as you probably are in this post.

Oh Lifetime…

I’m sure I’ve written about this in the past, but there just isn’t anything better to beat the Sunday Blues than a day of Lifetime (or LMN, pick your poison) and a cold, dark room.  Coincidentally, this remedy doesn’t just beat the Sunday Blues, but also the Margarita Blues, Vodka Soda Blues, Day-After-A-Friends-Wedding Blues, and famously, the Fiesta Blues. You could call it a cure-all.

I can’t say exactly what it is that makes Lifetime movies such a great afternoon suction.  Mainly because I recognize that they are nowhere near cinematic par, but there is something in each one that can suck you in within 5 minutes and catch you up just as quickly. They’re also all almost the same and usually include a member of some Aaron Spelling cast from the early 90’s or Saved By The Bell.  These are the good ones.

Here are the categories in which you can place pretty much any Lifetime movie:

  1. Biography (of something terribly sad where the protagonist usually doesn’t make it and the mother is fighting in the public court system)
  2. Husband cheating on wife with her best friend (you’d be surprised how many plots can be based on this same premise)
  3. Bad girl/Black Widow seduces men, steals their money, murders them, lather, rinse, repeat
  4. Creepy neighbor turned cyber stalker or regular old stalker (usually the kids are onto this WAY before their oblivious parents who keep walking into the traps)
  5. The feature films that never made even a ripple at the box office (these always get replayed on LMN and let me tell you, they’re pretty good

It’s a delightful lineup that goes perfectly with your favorite glass of pinot noir and cheese/cracker combo.  And the best part is, as soon as one ends another immediately starts up. No waiting, no commercials.  And that’s how you look up and it’s 6pm and your entire day is gone.

Did I leave anything out? What is your favorite time waster?

Are You Down With Brad?

Brad-Womack-Bachelor I’ll tell you….I’m kinda thinking no.

I mean…did I like that he didn’t rashly (word??) choose anyone before–sure I did.

Do I really want to see him get slapped (in the promo for tonight), struggle through the process, and MAYBE do the same thing again? Only we all know ABC will not contractually let that happen.

Meh.  Still not too sure.

I’m going to try a poll with you guys and see if you’ll bite on this one…I’d love to know who’s over it, under it, or doesn’t care.

Ya know what I AM down with?  The premiere of Lifetime’s “The Craigslist Killer.”  Premiering tonight on Lifetime at 9PM/8 CST.

We Gon’ Find You!

Thank you EMac for sending this over!! It’s definitely brightened my Thursday.  Watch the videos in order…and thank you Auto Tune.  And to that intruder: look out…Antoine Dodson gon’ find you.

And now, for you creatives…

Ode to Fridays

Dear Friday,

Why have you taken so long to get here?  I’ve been waiting all week. Seriously.  Let’s get on with this already and bring your friends Saturday and Sunday. They can hang out as long as they’d like.

Libby

In all seriousness though…it’s been an insanely crazy week.  Work has gotten the best of me and as I sit here writing what might be the most pointless post ever, I’m finding myself drifting off to sleep.

So here’s what I’ll do…let’s recap some tv from this week.  Because literally…that’s about all I’ve got.  SPOILER ALERT BELOW…I’m not censoring for those of you who haven’t watched. Do your jobs and catch up.

#1:   Dancing with the Stars– I haven’t really been keeping up as much as I should. But I do know that Niecy Nash went home. Which sucks because she really brought “entertainment” to the show.  I honestly don’t really care who wins now, but I think it will be the Pussycat Doll.

#2:   Real Housewives of New Jersey– Get into this now.  RIGHT NOW.  I’m just sayin’…Danielle is crazy, Dina is unusually sweet, Jacqueline apparently has lost all memory of Danielle’s craziness, Teresa is ready to come to blows with Danielle, and Caroline has the funniest family ever. Ham Game. ‘Nuff said. I wouldn’t mind hanging out with them and you BET I’m waiting for that episode where someone pulls out a 9mm at a charity event.  I love you Jersey.

#3:  Lost– A little slow this week, but still really good.  Not sure that I needed a full hour of that back story, but hopefully they’ll surprise me.  AND…I’m not sure all of these questions are going to be answered in 2 episodes. Again…I’m ready to be shocked.

#4:  Glee– I’ve never watched it before.  And Tuesday’s episode didn’t really sell me on it.  However, I’ll give it another shot because I’ve heard from multiple people who say it’s awesome.  And that I should watch the Madonna episode.  I won’t count you out yet, Glee.

#5:  Modern Family– You know how I feel about this. BEST. SHOW. EVER.  It’s truly so smart, hilarious, and I really still can’t decide who I love most.  One of my favorite lines from this week came from Manny talking to Luke:

“I noticed some lovely tweens down by the kids’ club, maybe we can find a nice spot near them by the pool and send over a couple of virgin Mai Tais. They may be interested in two sophisticated men like us.”

Classic.

#6:  Grey’s Anatomy– Finally a good season again! So, Christina and Owen are having major issues. Derek and Meredith are trying to have a baby and build a house. Lexi was basically proposed to by McSteamy. Alex has no idea he’s about to lose his girlfriend (which will totally make him a jerk again). Bailey is finally getting a little action. And Teddy is an eavesdropper.  I think that’s about it.  The finale next week is going to be good.  But Grey’s writers…please don’t almost kill Meredith again. That would just be exhausting.

#7:  Private Practice– Wow.  Sad sad season finale last night.  Dell died.  And left his poor orphaned daughter with who knows who.  (Char & I are betting that Addison will adopt her.) Violet and Pete are going to give it another go.  Addison basically assaults Sam at the end…so I guess they’re going to be dating next season.  Naomi’s boyfriend left her to die.  (I thought only cats did that…) Cooper and Charlotte are engaged. Sheldon is still vanilla–I really can’t get into this guy. At. All. Maya and her baby lived–go Addison.  And I just realized that Amelia is Derek’s sister.Interesting.

#8:  The Hills– This show is getting creepier and creepier. Spencer is legitimately insane. Heidi…I have no words.

#9:  The City– Kelly Cutrone is amazing. I’m not sure where Oliva Palermo gets off thinking she’s big time at a magazine. Really, Kelly made the show this week season.

I wish I had a #10 to round things out. Sorry for such a lame post, but comment on your favorite shows of the week…maybe I can pick up a #10 from there!  Happy Friday and have a GREAT weekend!!

IMHO…

Shorthand for these are the best commercials ever.  After chatting today with a friend about my favorite commercials (of which I’m usually not a fan) these are the few that I will NOT fast-forward through.  I’ll actually rewind back to these. Which is sayin’ a lot!

#1:  This one absolutely kills me.  I’ll fess up to having snorted with laughter the first time I saw this. Ok, every time.

#2:  This isn’t the one I wanted to post. But for some reason I cannot find the video anywhere!! I’m beginning to think I made it up. It was Southwest Airlines maybe?  All of the employees are leaving for the weekend and they’re screaming, cheering, throwing their reports up in the air, pushing each other down the sidewalk in their wheelie chairs, and then a mini van peels out.  It’s classic. And if it’s not already been done, I call shotgun on it.  But this one’s funny, too.

#3:  This is just funny. I like the very end. Because who doesn’t want to sound cool when they ask for the guac?

#4:  Talking babies.  I mean, come on…what’s not to love? Especially when the baby howls.

#5:  I really like throwing this line out randomly. Because no one is ever expecting to be called a lint licker.

Confuse Me??

So, I’m not sure if I’ve written about this in the past or not, but something’s telling me yes.  I admit to having an EXTREME aversion to Hilary Duff…very similar to my aversion for cantaloupe. (Read: extreme reactions such as rolling of the eyes, turning of the channel, and general complaining. It entertains my family in a perplexing way.)

It’s true. She makes me crazy. And I’ll be the first to admit that I have zero to the zero power reasons why. There’s just something about her that is like being forced to sit and listen to nails being dragged down a chalkboard. Can’t do it. Won’t do it. DISLIKE button.

Needless to say that this lil’ doozie of a headline really tripped me up today. 

Ex-squeeze me??  This is right up there with Lauren Conrad (layman terms: chick from The Hills) writing her first “novel.” And now second, from what I see on amazon.com. Where are the READERS in this country??

I’m like, totally disappointed. (Insert hair flip here.)

On another totally unrelated note, Ryan Seacrest has a stalker.

I know, did you have to re-read that line, too?

Some guy has been “showing up where he works and to events he has been hosting.” The guy had a restraining order from Ryan already because he tried to beat up his bodyguards a while back and now has plead no contest to stalking.

Again, did you have to re-read that?

I just want to know, at what point in your stalking career do you decide the jig is up?  “They have a point here…it’s a little suspicious that I keep showing up like this. Doesn’t look to good on my part. Oh, ok fine! I’m your stalker. Nice to meet you. Guess I’m going to have to go back to my job at Old Navy now.”

Seems like a lot of work for nothing. I’m just sayin’.

Finally…I saw “Shutter Island” this weekend. I’ll let you in on a lil’ secret: I HATE scary movies. Especially the kind where I don’t sleep at night because each noise I hear I just KNOW is that serial killer coming to get lil’ ol’ me.

This was not one of those movies. I totally thought it was and I spent the first half of the movie with my jacket acting as a blanket that was “conveniently” close to my eyes to provide the Scary Movie Cover, as I like to call that move.

I loved it. It was smart, it was suspenseful, it made you think (in a good way) and it was really entertaining. If you have a few hours to duck out and go see a great movie, I highly recommend it. In fact, I’m going to make up my own rating scale right now and give it 4.5 melons.

Eat your heart out, Leonard Maltin.