Ice Ice Baby

Story of my life right now. Because nothing says “I’m hip and cool” quite like a sciatic/hip injury.  #oldlady

For the past 3 months or so, I’ve had some awful soreness in the muscles in my hip, which everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) diagnosed as a sciatic nerve issue.  Everyone’s a doctor, y’all. Myself included. We’re so lucky that everyone knows how to google Webmd. This is especially awesome because the only time I’ve heard people talk about sciatic nerves is when you’re pregnant, or you’re my grandmother. (No offense!) And I’m neither of those things. Let’s be clear.

So much to my ignorance, this is a thing that everyone of any age can get.  And don’t you especially love those little moments of clarity that your parents can sometimes provide you? You know, the ones that blow your mind because you’ve never heard the words they’re telling you come out of their mouths. Like NEVER. Never, never, never, ever, not even if you’re name were Heather, never.

I experienced one of these moments about a month ago when complaining about this “injury” and my mom (who had heard me talk about it before) pipes in with “Oh, you and I must have weak sciatic areas. I get that all the time.”

What?

I’m sorry. Excuse me, what? I had literally started to worry that I had done some permanent damage during a strenuous cardio-pump class (with 8lb. weights, yeah right) that was going to lead me into an early nursing home tour. Diagnosed music to my ears? Yes. Shocking? Yes. Could have used that info a little sooner, mom! I may have stressed a few years off my life.

So yesterday, I went to see the onsite Airrosti therapist at work to get treated for this issue. It’s an awesome benefit provided to us and I figured, nothing could really hurt worse so I might as well go for it and get on the road to recovery.

WRONG.  This hurt worse.  The sciatic pain had sort of died down in the last week thanks to some religious power-walking so I was thinking I might be in the clear.  Not so much.  If you haven’t heard of Airrosti, you can click this link to learn more. Let me add to their warnings–this is NOT a massage!! This is some DEEP tissue realigning of things (tissue, in fact I think) that leaves you bruised and tender. With some fancy schmancy tape to keep things in place.

Apparently this injury has been a slow burn and wasn’t caused by any trauma pumping that iron in my classes.    I’ve created a slight gap in the ligaments in my hip that connect down into my hamstrings.  Who are also suffering, poor guys. It’s come from too much crossing my legs, too much standing with the weight on one leg or the other, and all kinds of awesome everyday things that I didn’t know were slowly killing me hurting me. I know you’ll all sleep better tonight, knowing that, so you’re welcome.

I left my torture appointment yesterday feeling better and with a handful of exercises and stretches to do for the next few days, along with icing instructions, twice daily. So here I sit, icing my butt/hip/lower back region.  Twice a day. Feeling more and more like an early retiree in Alaska and wondering if you really CAN see Russia from Sarah Palin’s backyard. (That’s a joke. I just wanted an Alaska tie-in.)

But seriously, as my friend Nicole said to me this morning “Isn’t it annoying how the older you get, the easier it is to hurt yourself doing stupid things?  Like walking or moving?” TRUTH. Preach sister. It IS annoying. So everyone do yourselves a favor: take those vitamins, do your yoga, and try not to hurt yourself getting from your car to your desk today.

And don’t be jealous that I’m massively bruised and get to go back in for more fun on Thursday. It should be fun considering I can’t even touch said area without wincing. #recovery

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Short Saturday Update and RIP to Two Sites

A-Deadly-Adoption-Trailer-Kristen-Wiig-and-Will-FerrellQuick update: Little Boy’s birthday dinner was a huge success last night.  But really, what celebration isn’t when cake and wine are involved?  You can find us all hydrating today. Except for Little Boy. You can find him sidled up to a blackjack table in about an hour. As Johnny Drama would say, good luck baby bro!! Next question.

Also, I need to request a moment of silence for two blogs that I wrote on that had to go to blog heaven this week. “A Court of Two Sisters” and “Lifetime in Reel Life.”

Back in the day when DWC was created, this blogging phenomenon was taking off and you could say that I maybe got a little ambitious and excited. You could also say that no one else did because I believe the blog hits were just me and my co-writers checking on the page. So, due to that fact and also the fact that the last post on either of them was around November of 2010, I decided to stop paying for the domains and send them off on their way.

For those of you who didn’t read them (I’m looking at all of you), “A Court of Two Sisters” was supposed to be a cute spin on the NOLA restaurant and about the time Poops and I lived together. And one apartment complex away from her now husband, DJ Jeff. We had high hopes of co-contributing to this blog and documenting our “Three’s Company”-esque experience. There were some great times had at the townhouse, but none of them documented. Probably because we were too busy trying to squeeze two Chevy Tahoes into a not so generous two-car garage (mine suffered a bit), spent most of our time climbing up 3 flights of steep stairs (our butts did NOT benefit the way we thought), or were busy dissecting the Bachelor or Bachelorette whilst gaining the perspective of a male on how stupid we knew the show concept already was. So, our apologies to you on missing out on that thrilling experience.

Now, “Lifetime in Reel Life” kinda did have a shot at the beginning. There were several contributors, and I think we all know how much material there is to go around.  The premise of that blog was to watch the Lifetime movies (or current reality tv shows) and analyze them in a comedic fashion. We sort of had a good thing going, and then everyone got busy and one of us up and decided to create this amazing baking company that you should be using called Annie’s Petite Treats and the blog went by the wayside. And I’m a little sad in this exact moment that I didn’t make one last post about the new Will Ferrell and Kristin Wiig Lifetime movie “A Deadly Adoption” because…it was a real Lifetime movie?? Who knew.  Personally, I think Lifetime would have been genius to make that a big ol’ spoof and create their own “Scary Movie” version of an LMN movie with Ferrell and Wiig, but I’m not in charge. (If I had a penny for every time I said that, y’all…)  Anyway, I’m planning on DVR’ing that sister and seeing what all of the awkward fuss is about.  But alas, you will not read anything about it on “Lifetime in Reel Life” because it no longer exists.

Let’s be real here. I think you want my focus to stay on DWC and not on reviewing Lifetime movies. Unless I’m doing them here, which will most likely happen. Also, I don’t live with Poops anymore, so it’s not like we have a lot to contribute in the way of “Three’s Company” but there will be stories aplenty because we’ve only moved about 5 minutes away from each other.

Y’all have a great Saturday and I hope you can all sleep tonight after getting such breaking news from me. If not, have a melatonin and call me in the morning.  🙂

Soup Slurpin’ and Birthday Boys

First thing’s first….TGIF, folks!! It’s another beautiful Friday and we have the whole weekend ahead of us!

Tomorrow is my brother’s birthday and he’s turning the ripe old age of 26.  Oh to be young again! I’m actually totally fine with being 33, except for when you have too much wine and it hits you mid-day when you’ve just started being productive, and the fact that everyone expects you to be a full-grown “adult” and be “very responsible.” Aside from that, I have no complaints.

Anyway, we had a little birthday lunch celebration with him today since he’s doing what any 26 year old with their own money and zero responsibilities does and he’s going on an overnight to Vegas with his best friends. (Cue the opening credits for “The Hangover.”) So if we wanted to celebrate, today was the day.

For years, affectionately and jokingly he and his friends have called each other “Little Boy.” We aren’t sure why they do or say a lot of the things they do and more than 30% of the time we don’t understand them at all.  But they “Little Boy” in a crazy-ish voice and it’s hilarious and English so we’re mostly all on the same page.

Since children are sponges, our oldest nephew has started picking up on that and instead of calling him Uncle Bobby, he now stops himself mid-sentance and calls him “Little Boy.”  It’s one of the most hysterical things to hear, especially when he says it in front of Bobby’s friends who then double over in hyperventilating laughter. Because, fact: there’s nothing funnier than kids saying things that adults say. (Even when it’s not appropriate and you’re not supposed to laugh.)

So at the birthday lunch, my sister shows up with the boys, balloons tied to each one of their hands, and a cake for the birthday boy.  And this is what it says:

littleboyMeagan for the win. Epic cake dedication, and you’re absolutely correct if you thought that we sang “Happy birthday, dear Little Boy!” as loud as we could at the restaurant.

Before this happened though, we had some lunch. Which, when the nephews are around at a Mexican food restaurant means that we have several plates of rice and beans on the table. Don’t get me wrong, refried beans and rice are delicious and the foundation that Tex Mex is built on, but they’re not usually the whole meal. Or anything exciting.  I mean, they’re not handing out The James Beard Award for rice and beans, but whatever.  My favorite thing is that my oldest nephew will now ask for tortillas and make his own “tacos” when his plate arrives.  It’s a total mess, but he loves it and from what I’ve observed of parenting if your child is eating something at all, much less semi-nutritious, you should let sleeping dogs lie.  (Full heart + full belly = full night sleep for all.)

So to my surprise and mid-taco bite, he took an immediate interest in my tortilla soup. So I gave him a taste and here’s what he said. “Ohhh, I LOVE soup, Aunt Bibby!! Can I share with you?”  (Try to hear it in a 3, almost 4 years old’s precious raspy voice. It’ll kill you.)

So of course I want to share my soup (there was A LOT anyway) and as any aunt obsessed with their niece or nephew you basically are just delighted when they pay you any attention above their parents.  So duh, I shared my soup (and I’m sure a few germs) with my lil punk and made little people conversation at Little Boy’s birthday.  File that under #bestlunchever

Stay Out of the Water, Folks…

As if we needed ONE MORE reason to stay out of the beautiful waters of the Gulf Coast, here’s another lurking issue to lure you into nightmares. (See what I did there?)

jelliesBoys and girls, that’s what you call a Portuguese man o’ war.  They found one on the beach on the Jersey Shore today among a whole host of other things, I’m sure. (I’m lookin’ at you, Snookie.) Apparently these guys are SUPER poisonous and CAN be fatal to humans. I’m especially freaked out by these things because I had a run-in several years ago with a microscopic jellyfish in Cancun that easily ranks in the top 5 worst situations I’ve ever been in.  And there are MANY a blind date in that all-inclusive category, y’all.

Affectionately called a “sea flea” (or pulgas marinas), said jellyfish felt like a piece of seaweed scratched me on the back and kind of stung like a cut.  Until my entire body felt like it I had been overtaken by voodoo magic and someone was using a pin on a doll somewhere all over me.  And then it got worse.

But to really add insult to injury in this situation, my entire family (we were on a family trip) thought I was expressing a flair for the dramatics (unheard of) and crying for no reason about a “sunburn.” (Also never happens.) They pointed and laughed and documented the moment with pictures. Which was so sweet of them and I can’t tell you how much I enjoy looking back on that moment in the FAMILY VACATION ALBUM.

But it did get worse. By dinner that night (luckily our last) my entire body was on fire and everyone was chalking it up to a classic case of sun poisoning. Because what the?

By the time we got back to the room and everyone got in bed, something really strange had started to happen. My legs started twitching. Involuntarily. A lot.

So running down the hallway to my mommy and daddy’s room is exactly that the heck I did. Only to sit in the room wide awake with them all night while by entire body engaged in muscle spasms that my dad likened to “your whole body having the hiccups” (humor) and my mom frantically calling every doctor friend we knew in the States to find out why her daughter’s nervous system had been hacked.

After an entire sleepless night, no answer from many baffled doctors, and several hundred calorie burning twitches we loaded up in the taxi to get to the airport. Which is where I met my hero, and possibly the smartest man in Mexico.

Laughing, my dad told the taxi driver about our interesting night and he, without hesitation, diagnosed me on the spot. “It’s pulgas marinas!” Awesome…Mexican sea fleas.

“And you’re lucky you didn’t swallow one in the water.  Otherwise you’d be throwing up and convulsing for an entire week! This will wear off in 24 hours or so.”

And that is how I came to love the knowledge of locals. And hate jellyfish.

On another note, everyone is gearing up for Shark Week 2015! You can find all of the pertinent info here along with some videos that will hopefully not lead you to a premature sporting of a pair of Depends.  Yet another, larger reason to stay out of the water.  The number of attacks so far this summer have led me to believe that sharks are really angry at us.  I’m not sure if there’s some issue that the government didn’t get around to solving for them or something, but y’all they’re mad. And your appendages are at risk.

So everyone do the smart thing at the coast this summer. Only get into the water far enough to potty, and find yourself a nice pool to dip into.  The only thing you have to worry about there is urine and chlorine!  And I’ll take those odds.

Current Mood

 
It’s one of those days where you just kinda wonder…is it almost an acceptable time to have a cocktail or several? 

Not sure if anyone else is with me on that one, but if you are, well it almost is.

Also, happiest of birthdays to my sistah, Poops! Last one without a baby!! Love you mean it, girl! 

Stay dry, folks and turn around don’t drown. More rain is allegedly coming our way. 

👍🏻👊🏻  

Reconnected, Follow Me, and Here We Go!

I’m not sure where that title came from, but it seemed fun and was the first thing that came to mind when deciding to tell y’all that my phone is BACK BABY!!  (Also, this is just some minor insight into how my brain is functioning.)

And that’s exactly what I feel like after having been without it for a mere 31 hours. A giant baby. (Although I still stand by everything I said about being without it and how difficult it was. I fully accept that I’m dependent and that’s that.)

I finally got that sweet thang back last night at 7pm and rejoined the world of tech in all it’s glory. I was stupid giddy with excitement to make my first call to Husband in which I was promptly reminded of how no one else really cared about my phone issues when he didn’t answer. (He called me back but my image of him waiting for me to call was really dissolved quickly. Rightfully so…it’s just a phone, not the lotto.) (Which we may need to win now, thanks to the coffee dip.)

Anyway, having a phone again has made several things much easier. Like texting.  I know you can iMessage from your laptop or your iPad, but not sitting at the stoplight. (I’m not doing it when I drive so please, no lectures. Or tickets.)  And I think what I realized was that in order to shorthand and multitask the way we do now, we do most things on the fly. And use our phones to accomplish this things mid-fly. So can you survive? YES. Will you inevitably do things slower and have to get organized before your trip out? YES AGAIN.  Apparently back in the day we spent way more time figuring out what order to run errands in and where to go first than we actually did running said errands. The future is fast, y’all.

So there it is. Mystery solved. I’ll stop talking about it now.

On another note, I’d like to remind everyone how you can keep up with this fine lil blog if we don’t happen to be friends on Facebook, friends in real life, or if I haven’t texted you (now that I can again) to tell you to check out my new post. Which is desperate and something I would never do.

On the right hand side of the page you can click “Follow Down With Cantaloupe!”  Rocket science.

OR…you can subscribe via email and get a cute lil note every time I post something by clicking on the “Sign Me Up!” button under “Email Subscription.”  Again…simple stuff.

And while we’re on the subject, I would love for you to do this.  It makes me feel good and “liked” which in turn inspires me (writer’s word) to continue blabbing on to you via the interwebs. Earth-shattering literature is what I’m putting out there, folks…and I’d hate for you to miss it.

Finally…there are several small summer trips/adventures coming up so stay tuned as I attempt to remember and document everything!

Y’all have a great Tuesday–which is my Friday this week but don’t be jealous!  😉

Disconnected.

And I mean for real, y’all.  My iPhone decided to take a little summer dip into my coffee yesterday morning which resulted in some major sailor talk from me and some head shaking from Husband.

Typically when I take time off from work or go on a trip (especially one that involves changing a data plan) I am rarely on my phone. We have a family rule of no social-media’ing (or documenting) a trip while we’re on it.  We like to keep it personal…we take the trip with who we want to be with and we can show everyone where we went later.

So you would think that this would be an easy thing to manage. Everyone in the last 24 hours that I’ve told has said “That must be kind of nice!”  Well you know what it is? Frustrating.  If I were on vacation with all of my peeps I would be just fine. But I’m not and it’s very strange to not have a home phone, desk phone at the office (which I don’t have), or a mobile phone.  Freeing, sure, but a little unnerving at the same time.

It definitely has me thinking back to ye olden days of my youth when having a cell phone wasn’t really a thing.  In fact (now I’m going to age myself), I didn’t have a cell phone until my senior year of high school. And car phones were one of those things that were really expensive and you didn’t make a call unless you wanted to hear your dad say “Ok just tell me where you’re going and let’s get off this damn phone!” They were much like the airphones on planes….and you don’t even want to hear my story about that.  It involves a 2.5 hour flight and chatting with my mother the entire time. Another note: they don’t even have these anymore.

How did we get so attached to being connected?  I grew up my entire youth with my parents not knowing where I was. Or just trusting that I was where I told them I was going. (If you know me…I was.)  So the thought of not being able to reach your child at this point seems totally insane. (Much less your spouse, friends, family, etc.) But the counter thought of someone not old enough to drive having a cell phone also seems crazy to me.

So you can see why it’s very strange for me to be bugging out about not having a phone when half my life I didn’t have one, didn’t know what texting was, and someone not showing up somewhere just meant you had to wait it out.  Or hope that they checked their home answering machine.  Apparently gone are those days, my friends. We are officially slaves to our phones, whether we’d like to admit it or not. (Seriously…if you think you aren’t just drop your phone in the pool and see how you do.)

In other news…well, there really isn’t any.  Something about the Tony’s, and some prisoners escaping, and more FIFA drama. I don’t really know, I don’t have a phone.

Everybody’s Workin for the Weekend?

It’s been a very slow and uneventful week.  Aside from an awesome baby shower for Poops and her little nugget, not much else has been going on so I apologize for the slow blogging.

I do have a few tidbits I want to share.

If you’re looking for a great summer book and you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend “Gone Girl.” Gillian Flynn has a VERY dark style, but yet very interesting. I couldn’t tear myself away from any of them even though their premises are typically really disturbing. If you have read it, try “The Girl on the Train” by Paula Hawkins.  Equally as good. I read it on my honeymoon. And if you’ve read that, join me in reading “Luckiest Girl Alive” by Jessica Knoll.  Apparently it’s the next one of both of these previous books. Which is totally taking the internet’s word for it but what choice do we have?

Old Navy is having a sale! And they actually have some pretty cute stuff right now that doesn’t look too “factory.”  I got this for an upcoming beach trip:

coverupI also got a good ol’ denim shirt. Because apparently the images of me as an awkward tween wearing denim on denim in the most high-waisted, belted, and loafered ways possible have finally dissolved from my memory enough for me to try again. Fashion is so weird. Or I’m that stupid. Anyway, it’s a cute, simple top.

denimThey had a lot of other really cute things that may find their way into my shopping basket before our trip. Just saying.

In other news:  True Detective is coming back on HBO on June 21st.  Cannot. Wait. This time we have Colin Farrell, Vince Vaughn, Rachel McAdams, and Taylor Kitsch.  Come. ON. Y’ALL.  Anytime I can watch Tim Riggins for an extended amount of time I’m ok with that. (And Pammy is too!)   🙂

On that note, I’ll say TGIF and have a great weekend.  I know THIS gal will!  #crushedit

libby denim

Extra, Extra!

skimm-fb-logoDo you ever find yourself in a conversation with “smart people” discussing today’s current events and have no clue what they’re discussing? If you’re reading this blog, I’d like to think we’re like minded and your answer is yes.

So do I!

I actually find myself in this position a lot all of the time.  It’s mostly my bad because I find Andy Cohen to be the most interesting news source around right now. And I’m pretty sure that important world events in Bravo-land only translate to how Bethenny and Heather got into it at the table at Dorinda’s birthday dinner the other night. Which, for the record, I’m #teambethenny because too much.

It’s also because let’s be real–we’re amongst friends–the news is boring. And sad. And depressing. And pretty much “the sky is falling” and who wants to be Chicken Little all the time, anyway?

So, I was looking for a way to get the most current events in a quick, chick-lit type manner that will actually explain the issues to me, but that I can be finished with by the end of my cup of coffee.

Enter The Skimm.  This is life-changing, y’all.  Just like how I said unroll.me was life changing, so is this.  Two best friends (who happen to be news producers) sit down to give you a quick update in a pop-culture vernacular that hits your inbox first thing each morning. In addition to this, they also give you cheat sheets.  Today I read up on fracking.  I live in Texas and pretend to know everything about it. Even what that dang word means when thrown out in conversation. Thanks to The Skimm, now I actually know a little bit about what that is. And that makes me feel like more of a Texan.

The best part is, you can follow them via email newsletter, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Whatever your little high-tech social media-minded heart wants it shall receive.

So what does this mean? You, too, can be up to date on all of the “smart things” and still have your Andy Cohen fix. It’s truly the best of both worlds. Reality and REELality, that is.  #getskimmed

A Few Pop Culture Updates…

So Kimye is having another baby.  She’s beyond excited, y’all.  The rest of us just really want to know what she’s going to name it.  I’m guessing it’s going to be unique, what do you think?  I think they could also capitalize on hashtags if they went with “Baby SXSW”….or South by Southwest for those of you who needed a translation.  There is some mileage to get out of that one, you have to admit. And baby North (who will probably be slighted with just one name) seems just stoked about it as seen here. I mean…they really all do.

kimye.imgI’d be confused, too, North.  Especially because I wonder if her dad’s everyday vernacular is as bleeped out as most of his current live performances.

Anyway, enough about them. Let’s move onto Bruce.  (These Kardashians have put out a lot of news lately.)

Today, Vanity Fair went public with their new cover of Bruce as Her, complete with the name reveal. She is now called Caitlyn and I have to say, she looks pretty good. Better than I thought.

BruceAlso…as if we hadn’t had enough from the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy, author E.L. James is penning a new novel for the series. From Christian Grey’s point of view.  Basically a “why are you so weird” and “how did you get this way” perspective.

It should be interesting?

Oh, and Paul McCartney isn’t smoking pot anymore. There goes any chance for a Sgt. Pepper’s remake. You have to respect the guy though. He’s a parent and a grandparent and has made the decision so that he can set a good example.

That’s all I’ve got for today! If you’re disappointed with that, take a look at Saturday’s post.  It’s long-winded and should satisfy you until my next chronicled adventure. If you’re still reading.  🙂