I won’t even bore you guys with my stupid apologies for not posting in a while–if there’s even anyone left out there reading this. I will start off by saying a friend of mine has started a blog that’s sure to be a delight and you should all run, not walk, to check it out: www.follins.com.
That said, work has yet again been stressing me out and so you haven’t heard from me because honestly, getting on the computer to be funny/entertaining is the last thing I want to do when I get home right now.
Now onto a sweet little story from last Thursday. To set the scene for you on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being the most stressed I’ve been at work ever, I would rank last Thursday at about a 15. Seriously. And no, I won’t bore you with the reasons why.
So I finally get to the end of the day and I’m going to meet Moo for a glass of much needed vino. I’m packing up my laptop and getting things together to leave the office and I cannot find my car keys ANYWHERE.
I’ll have you know that I’m an Anal Annie and have a place for everything so that I don’t lose things. I’m a total creature of habit in that respect and it’s worked just great for me for almost 29 years now, thank you very much. (August 10th is my birthday…hollah! Just sayin’…it’s coming.)
Anywho, I’m looking everywhere and rapidly approaching the point where I’m either about to scream at someone or start crying. And before anyone in my family chimes in to comment on this post, yes, I do tend to cry a lot for no good reason. No, I don’t know why. I have a tender heart. But really, I don’t even necessarily cry when I’m supposed to, just randomly and it’s annoying. But I digress.
So I’m about to have a meltdown and Avu, my friend at work, asks me what I’m going to do. So I decide that my emotions will be diffused by leaving the building, so I might as well just go to my car and assess the damage. Maybe the keys are there? Maybe/hopefully I locked them in the car? At least then I could get a ride to my house, get my spare keys, and be on my way.
So I walk my broken-down self out to the parking lot…and I’ve forgotten where I’ve parked. Stellar.
Once I finally remember, I start walking in that direction. As I approach my car, I hear another car idling so I slow down and start looking around to ensure I’m not about to be run over. Because that would have been par for the course that day. Am I painting a good picture here?
Oddly enough, I don’t see anyone’s tail lights on or see anyone in their car about to back up and then it suddenly dawns on me: that’s my car running.
Terrified, I walk up and try the driver door handle. OPEN.
Temperature in the car: a cool 60 degrees. That noise is the AC blowing. Medium speed.
Gas gauge: still pretty full, surprisingly.
Purrin’ like a kitten. Since 12:30pm when I ran out to grab a sangwich. (That’s 5 hours of idling unlocked in the parking lot for those of you a little slow on the math.)
So what do I do next? Toss my things in the car, sit in the driver’s seat and begin HYSTERICALLY LAUGHING at myself. Naturally.
I honestly mean to tell you that if someone had walked up at the moment, they would have sent me straight to the institution because I was a wreck. A wreck of laughter.
So I throw her in reverse and get on with it. That’s what the experts call “Slightly Distracted.”
I’ll leave you with this from Follins’ vault of funny videos. It’s a little off-color, but still hilarious. Have a GREAT weekend and do yourselves a favor and turn off your cars.